Dear Bunmi, is he controlling me through sex?

I love my boyfriend, but if he wants sex, he wants it right away.

It could be when I’m about to leave for work, getting ready to meet friends, or just in a hurry to get something done at home.

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I used to find this rather arousing, but recently a friend warned me off by suggesting that it could be his way of controlling me, especially if I’m about to do something that doesn’t involve him.

What do you think?

Gladys, by email.

Dear Gladys,

No one ever said sex should be confined to the bedroom. Impulsive passion is often exciting and satisfying.

But if there is a chance that your boyfriend is using spontaneous sex in a deliberate attempt to control or restrain you, then you should discuss it with him.

Only you know how tenacious he is, but he needs to understand that ‘no’ always means ‘no’ and sometimes sex isn’t appropriate.

Ask him to see things from your point of view, but if he can’t – or won’t – he may not be the man you think he is, and it could be time to think about the future of this relation.

Share your problems and let go of your burden. Write to Dear Bunmi now:

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